it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
