god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
