i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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