The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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