can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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