Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
