I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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