No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize