3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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