Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
