just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
