Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
