I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
