We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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