We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
