what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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