Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
