His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Who died my cat blue again?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
