apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
