what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
