How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize