Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
