i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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