What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
