It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
