Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just invented taco cereal.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
