puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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