If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
