I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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