Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
