that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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