I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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