I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
