my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im holly from the hills drunk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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