feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize