Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
