I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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