He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
