i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
