I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
