I'd wear matching sweaters with you
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
