Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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