nut hugger
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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