Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
