Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize