We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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