WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
