I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
