why do cheetos always look like penises
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
