Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
