my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize