I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
