So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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