I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's never too late to be topless.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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