i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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