I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your penis caused this!
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