There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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