One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
