They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
