She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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