The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize