I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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