I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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