i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
