is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize