I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
