bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
