Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize