somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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