wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
