Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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