Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize