Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
