The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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