dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
