Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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