I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
