I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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