my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
