Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
two words: eviction party
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
