guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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