Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we're making bets on your personal life
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
