At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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